It's time for another ranking of home listings — and this time, we're looking at some of the wacky and wonderful swimming pool designs out there. From ones that make you jealous to ones that make you question the owner's sanity, here's a random selection of house pool designs, ordered from worst to best.
7. A pool with deeply cursed energy
[Image credit: HAR.com]
There are many things about this pool — if it can even be called a pool — that are deeply unsettling. Why is it indoors, placed seemingly at random in the middle of a room? Why is there a sofa placed directly in front of it? Why is there a showerhead attached?
I don't understand it, I'm scared, it's going in last place.
6. This unmistakably phallic one
[Image credit: Realtor]
This Atlanta, Georgia, property is, by every measure, a lovely house — but, unfortunately, the pool looks like a penis.
I need to understand the thought process behind designing a pool this way. I don't believe the phallic shape is intentional, but it's also impossible not to see a penis when you look at it. Either way, this pool is not cool.
5. A David Bowie tribute
[Image credit: Realtor]
Don't get me wrong, I'm a big fan of David Bowie's music, but there's something about this artwork that doesn't look quite right. It's a nice idea, for sure, but I'm afraid to say it's just a little... cringe?
Maybe I'm being harsh — but the house last sold for $2.5 million, so the owner, if they happen to read this, can console themselves with their many, many riches.
4. One for the violin fans out there
[Image credit: Zillow]
Another one that falls into the kind of cool, kind of cringe category.
The pool that comes with this massive house in Bedford Corners, New York, is undeniably impressive, but be honest: would you actually want it?
Like sure, the lights are quite fun, but we can all agree we'd rather just have a normal-shaped pool in our yard if we had the choice, right?
3. A nice little grotto
[Image credit: Zillow]
Now this is fun. I want this. Swimming in this pool would make me feel like a little Medieval person, sneaking off for a refreshing dip in the enchanted waters of a nearby cave before returning to toil on the farm.
Anyone else? No? Ok.
2. Personal waterslide?!
[Image credit: Zillow]
This pool is unreal. Part of an $8 million property in Scottsdale, Arizona, it comes complete with waterfalls, a waterslide and a massive TV — because why not?
1. Finally, a frankly ridiculous indoor pool situation
[Image credit: DouglasElliman]
Yes, you're seeing right — that's a literal waterpark situated inside a home. Wondering who could afford such a ludicrous thing? Well, the Yankee Candle Company's founder Michael Kittredge, as it happens.
His ~120,000-square-foot estate, Juggler Meadow, went on sale last year for an eye-watering $23 million — but, with a wild pool set-up like this, maybe that's fair enough.