There are too many excellent advice columns to keep up with, so we're committed to bringing you links to the best advice column questions and answers every week. Here's a roundup of the most interesting, thought-provoking and surprising questions that our favorite columnists addressed in recent days.

Shouldn't My Husband, An Ivy League Alum, Wear The Ivy League-Branded Shirt I Bought For Him?

My husband went to a prestigious Ivy League law school.

He has never worn any clothing items or hats featuring his school's logo.

I noticed last year that college-team coaches were wearing nice-quality, very attractive athletic shirts.

I knew my husband, with his trim but muscular build, would look great in one. I found one with a subdued logo for his law school and was excited to give it to him for his birthday. And he looks great in it!

Now that football season has started, I've twice suggested he wear it when we go out to casual places – once to a winery and again to an outdoor restaurant with friends.

Both times, he made an excuse not to wear it, and so I asked him why.

He has always enjoyed wearing sweatshirts and hats from his undergraduate university, but he admitted he didn't really feel comfortable wearing this shirt because it would make him look like an elitist.

I think he should be proud of attending this law school. It's all over his bio and CV and in Martindale-Hubbell, so what's the big deal if he wears a high-quality shirt with a tasteful logo?

Do you think people generally see this as an elitist thing to do?

[Tribune Content Agency]

Amy Dickinson points out that graduates of prestigious schools have varying opinions on this matter. "People who have pride don't need to advertise it, even if the advertisement is discreet, tasteful, and flattering to a trim and muscular Ivy League body," she writes. "Your husband has explained his reasoning well and with humility." Read the rest of her answer.

Should I Tell My Daughter-In-Law It's Not Fair That She Has An Active Social Life When I Gave Up Everything For My Kids?

I raised two kids, and I stayed home full time when they were small. Once I went back to work — my youngest was 4 — my life basically revolved around my job and my kids. I made lunches and took them to school in the morning, worked, then came home and spent the rest of my day focused on them.

I'm not saying that's the only way to do it, but I distinctly remember having almost no energy left over and having to drop some friendships, activities and social groups.

Now my son and his wife, "Linda," have two children under 6, and Linda has a dance card full of activities every single week. For a long time, it was her and my son's business, but I am asked to babysit now at least twice a week, sometimes more often. I always say yes because I love my grandchildren, but I catch myself thinking it's not fair — not to the kids, not to my son and not to me — that Linda seems not to have slowed down her social life whatsoever since having small children.

Is there a gracious way to intervene, or do I just carry these feelings in silence?

[The Washington Post]

Carolyn Hax gives the letter writer permission to say no to babysitting but urges her not to say anything further. "[D]o you really wish it upon every mom, but not dad, the drudgery you had — kids job kids sleep job kids sleep kids job kids?" she writes. "Or do you celebrate any progress toward fuller lives and balance — and happier, therefore better, parents?” Read the rest of her answer.

Can I Push Back When My Company Books Me 26 Hours Of Travel, With Multiple Stopovers, To Save Money?

I'm writing to you exhausted after my most recent bout of work travel. I'm a 27-year-old woman working at a small company. I've been here two years and have worked my way up to the head of my small team. I live in Big City A and travel to Big City B every two months for meetings. Direct, the journey would be an 11-hour flight. To save money (maybe a few hundred dollars) the company books me a 16-hour flight with a stopover in the middle. This is usually doable, if exhausting. (It feels a bit penny-pinching from the company I bring in so much money for, especially when my boss is flying direct in business class.)

Well, I just got back from my most recent trip where they really stepped the penny-pinching up. My itinerary consisted of three separate flights and it took over 26 hours to get from Big Asian City to Big European City. I arrived beyond jetlagged and all but crawled to my appointments. Over a dinner, my boss mentioned how we could further cut costs next trip by flying me to a smaller airport a few towns over and taking a train for a few hours (!!). All to save a few hundred dollars on flights. This is bananas, right? I'm worried I've let this go on for so long that it's beyond repair. How much can I push back on this? It's exhausting and demoralizing to be the butt of all this stingy penny-pinching from a company that is doing very well.

[Inc.]

Alison Green encourages the letter writer to push back. "Decent companies normally recognize that it's in their interest to have employees arrive at their business destinations reasonably rested and refreshed — that's why they'll often approve business class for flights over X hours, try to find direct flights, etc.," she writes. "Your company is doing the opposite of that and ensuring you'll arrive as worn out as possible." Read the rest of her answer.

Should I End A 20-Year Friendship Because My Friend Clearly Told Me How I Could Help Her During A Cancer Scare?

I'm part of a group chat with two dear old friends. We are attorneys with lengthy and distinguished careers. Like so many, we started the chat during the pandemic, when I was living abroad and unable to get back to the U.S. We have continued the chat as we live in different states now. We use it to check in with each other daily or share frustrations, opinions and thoughts on current events and life's challenges.

Recently, one of the women wrote that during her last physical, her doctor recommended a biopsy. Then she said, "I'm not asking for either of you to share your research, opinions or advice just yet. I just wanted to let you know what is going on, and I'll keep you updated as I learn more."

I was upset when I read that statement, especially since she does not hesitate to offer opinions or research of her own. I feel quite over this 20-year friendship. I just don't think that's the way to talk to friends. Do you agree?

[UExpress]

Abigail Van Buren disagrees. "If you felt hurt or slighted by what the woman wrote after learning that she might have a malignancy, pick up the phone and tell her how you felt and why," she writes. "But to drop someone at this point would be cruel and uncalled for." Read the rest of her answer.

Am I A Jerk For Refusing To Forgive Someone With A Mental Illness Who Threatened Me And My Family?

To what extent does someone disclosing that they have a mental health issue absolve or excuse their behavior? In this case, a former colleague of mine always says, "you know I have [this particular mental illness], and because of that you know that when I feel backed into a corner I lash out." This person then proceeds to send countless unhinged emails to dozens of people, including some that threaten to show up at people's offices and houses because those people are, "out of time." He has not taken any steps to address those underlying mental health issues. I try to be sensitive to others' struggles, but am I the asshole for refusing to engage with this person today and for probably never forgiving this person for the threats they've made against me and my family?

[Defector]

Drew Magary rules that the letter writer is not in the wrong. “Just because you suffer from a mental illness doesn’t mean that everything you do is the fault of that illness, nor does that illness always absolve you of the worst things you do,” he writes. “You can be mentally ill and still be a complete asshole.” Read the rest of his answer.

Am I Wrong To Be Uncomfortable With The Idea Of My Former Colleague Dating My Daughter, Whom He’s Known She Was A Young Child?

I recently discovered that a former colleague of mine has expressed interest in dating my adult daughter. This colleague has known my daughter since she was a young child, so I feel extremely uncomfortable about this situation — and a little angry. My daughter is in her late 20s now, so the decision is ultimately up to her, but even if they were to hit it off, I know I'd never be OK with it. He is quite a bit older than she is, and it just rubs me the wrong way. Am I wrong for feeling this way?

[UExpress]

Harriette Cole advises the letter writer to assess their former coworker's character. "It is understandably unnerving for this to be happening, but you are not in control of this," she writes. "If this man seems to be an honorable person, stand back and see how things unfold." Read the rest of her answer.

Read our last week's column here.